There’s this town Las Cruces in New Mexico that’s pretty unremarkable (sorry, if you’re from there) but they do have an Applebee’s (gross). I’ve stayed in this town too many times to count because I keep driving cross country like it’s a sport. Once I took a road trip with a girl friend and we tried to check into a hotel but the creeper clerk offered his couch instead. We said no (Obviously. I’m still alive to type this). This time no one offered his couch and that sort of bummed me out as did this margarita that tasted like Country Time lemonade spiked with tequila. That’s a good drink when you’re 8 and you’ve opened a lemonade stand, but not when you’re an adult stranded at an Applebee’s.